Life is a joke
by Sandrine MagCar
Summary: Chloe was dead. She died all alone, with no memories of the week she and Max could - should - have spent together. It was all Max's fault, she chose to kill Chloe. And here she was at her best friend's funeral, thinking how life could sometimes be so unfair. How could she ever recover from the loss of Chloe? How could she forgive herself? How could she keep on living?


Hello everybody! This is my first Life is Strange fanfiction, in fact I initially wrote this story in French (my mother tongue) and be aware that I'm not bilingual! I translated this story on my own, trying my best. So of course, there are mistakes in it, I guess there are loads of grammatical errors and misspelled words.

I'm still learning. Writing this story took me a lot of time, it is not perfect but I do hope you will enjoy reading it and that you will be indulgent.

This is my version of the end, that's how "my" Max, the one I played, would have reacted!

Enjoy!

* * *

 **Life is a joke**

Life is not strange, life is unfair.

Max was looking at the brown coffin which was shining under the dim light of the sunset, thinking how life was nothing more than a big joke, a mean and gratuitously prank. She almost didn't noticed when a hand gently grabbed her shoulder, willing to be comforting without a doubt. She didn't bother to wonder at whom the hand belonged, it didn't matter. Whoever was trying to make her feel better couldn't understand what she was living, and the fact that this person was still trying to do so was making Max furious.

Chloe was here in front of them for the last time and nobody knew what they had lived together, they had no ideas of what they had to go through. In just one week time, their life had been completely altered and nothing could ever change that back. Max was not the same person. Has she grown up and became more mature? That was another story. Do we become wiser when something changes our life? Well, that was what everybody said. Experiences are always bringing up something good. Yeah right, tell that to Chloe.

Max had the feeling she had become bitter, more resentful. Her sadness had turned into a caustic anger.

These feelings were certainty not very wise. But truthfully, she didn't care. People could think she was a stupid and choleric kid if they wanted. She didn't give a damn.

The hand on her shoulder grabbed her more firmly, Kate's voice came to her ears but she didn't quite get the words she was saying. When she saw her friend leaving out of the corner of her eyes, she deducted that it was her goodbye and her words of sympathy. That "courage speech" she had got used to hear for two days now and which was seriously getting on her nerves. "Be brave Max. It's gonna be okay Max. We're here for you Max. We love you Max" Who do they think they were? It was so hypocrite of them! At best they thought she was extra sensitive at worst, they were all thinking she was playing a role. Because after all, she didn't get back in touch with the one she was crying for so why was she so touched by her death? It didn't really made sense for them. God this reality sucked.

People were leaving the cemetery one by one, all Blackwell's students whispered a word or two to Max, gave her a pat on the back, hugged her or just shook hands. She didn't do a move to accept all these gestures of sympathy and didn't reply to any of them.

Not even to Warren.

They just couldn't understand. A wall had been built between Max and the rest of the world. An insurmountable barrier was separating them and she very doubted that she could one day go back to the other side. She knew her friends would wait for her, would wait for the time she will decide to climb this wall and try to join them. They would encourage her, would cheer her up and would support her in her fight. But she didn't think she was even capable to try to climb one day this huge wall. Did she even want to? What for?

Chloe was dead.

And with her, a part of Max was dead also. As her best friend would have said, that kind of bullshit metaphor was for stupid and annoying cry-babies but today, Max could claim that a part of her was missing. She had the feeling her heart wasn't beating in her chest anymore, without Chloe she was just an empty nutshell. From wherever she was, Chloe must have been sighing of annoyance before all that melodramatic shit but whatever. It was true.

A sob broke out to her ears and drifted her away from her sad thoughts. She turned her eyes away from the coffin for the first time. That sob was breaking her heart once more. As if she needed that.

Joyce.

Joyce, who had lost her only child, her last living memory of William. The last member of her family just died.

A woman who loses her husband is called a widow, but how do you call a mother who loses her daughter? There is no word. Proof that this kind of things should never happens. Joyce was a loving woman, she was tolerant and an extraordinary mother. She was a good person, she was an example of courage and strength for everyone, especially for Chloe even if she had never been smart enough to admit it. She had done everything she could just to provide her daughter meals every day and a place to sleep. She had had to raise a rebel teenager on her own while mourning her husband. She had given up everything, and yet she had lost everything. Life took everything from her, without letting her any rest. Watching her crying in David's arms made Max realize life was so disgusting, life didn't give a damn about people, good, bad, whatever.

Did Joyce deserve what was happening to her? Of course not, but life didn't bother.

And the worse what that Joyce had no clue of what was her daughter capable of. She would never know for what, and more, for whom, her daughter was dead. Nobody would.

To everyone, Chloe Price was just a lost girl, drugged addict, without any discipline or respect, who had done wrong choices and been killed by a mentally ill guy. A death that would go unnoticed. A terrible disaster yes, but an easily forgettable disaster.

Chloe Price was nothing much than a word on a gravestone now. When someone would accidentally speak her name, people would only remember a blue haired punk killed by Sean Prescott's son.

Because yeah, the highlight of the story, what people would never forget would be that the son of the precious and generous Prescott family wasn't that innocent. Nobody would ever forget what Nathan did, but nobody would remember the names of his victims either.

Joyce finally stopped sobbing and had put her shaking hand on the coffin of her daughter. Max was still standing at the same spot since the beginning of the ceremony, she didn't dare to move.

When Joyce turned around to face her, Max couldn't find the courage to meet her eyes. She could ignore the others, Warren, Kate, Alyssa, she could ignore their sad looks and their sweet words that were sounding so fake to her ears. But Joyce? She couldn't face her tears. She was afraid what she could see in her regard, afraid to justify herself, afraid to face the one she called her second mom. She didn't want to see her own sadness reflecting in Joyce's eyes.

Her glaze was fixed on the floor. All she wanted to do now was running away as far as she could. But she couldn't leave Chloe. She promised her to stay by her side forever, she promised to never leave her again.

Joyce slowly approached her and when Max eventually managed to look up, all she saw was a mass of blond hair. Two long arms embraced her waist and dragged her to Joyce's weak and shaking body. Her head crashed against Max's neck. The young girl answered to the hug without even thinking and completely threw herself into it, relieved to finally find someone who could understand her pain, who was living the same nightmare. Joyce gently stroked Max's hair in a maternal way. She was crying. Max wanted to join her, to share her sadness but the tears weren't falling down. Maybe she already cried too much over the past days.

She had no idea how long they stayed like this, it could have been ten seconds as it could have been one hour, but when Joyce stepped back, the sun was already down in the horizon and they were the only ones left in the cemetery.

"Oh Max…"

"Joyce… I'm so, so sorry" she said in a husky voice.

It was strange to hear herself talking. She hadn't spoken a word for two days, nothing except the Jefferson's case explanations. Warren had tried to make her talk, to cheer her up, even to make her laugh but all his tentative ended up in fails.

"Nobody is blaming you Max, you've got nothing to do in this terrible story."

She kept silent, careworn by culpability and willing to admit everything to Joyce. She deserved to know what had happened. What could have happened. But she perfectly knew that Joyce wouldn't believe her. And after all, what good would it cause to tell a story that never occurred?

She glanced at David who was waiting for her at the entry of the cemetery. He looked even more depressed than before. Joyce loudly sighed. A silent tear rolled down on her cheek, she wiped it off with the back of her hand.

"She would have loved to know you were back in town you know. She missed you so much during these past five years. She would have gone crazy knowing you were back. Obviously she would never have told me so but she would have been the happiest girl in the world. What makes my heart ache even more is that she hadn't even caught a glimpse of you before she…"

She never finished her sentence, she was about to lose control again. Instead she grabbed more firmly Max's shoulder.

"Take good care of you Max and thank you for everything. You know you're always welcomed in our house."

And she left without a word or a glance. She reached David who took her hand and together they disappeared into the night like ghosts.

Max's throat was very dry, it was getting harder to breath. She felt sick and dizzy. Tears were filling her eyes in without her consent. Her glance was still on the spot where Joyce had stood just minutes before.

And her voice was resonating in her head, as an echo to her own thoughts.

A tear fell down on her cheek, then another one, and another one, until her vision was blurred. A moan viciously broke out of her throat when she opened her mouth to breathe some fresh air.

Next thing she knew, she was knelt before Chloe. She covered her mouth with her hands, trying to control her sobs.

Joyce had destroyed her defences by putting words on the thing Max couldn't understand, even less accept. The part of the story that was so incredibly unfair that it was insulting.

Chloe died all alone. Left alone.

The Chloe who was lying in that coffin died without having any ideas of what she had lived with Max this week. What they should have lived. She didn't know they had been reunited after five long years. The Chloe who was about to be buried had never seen the snowfall with Max, had never discovered Max's superpowers and screamed that they had to play with it, had never swam into Blackwell's pool the night they had broken into the campus in ninja mode, had never discovered what was the Dark Room and what had happened to Rachel Amber. This Chloe never dared Max to kiss her.

She died thinking Max had left her and forgot her! For crying out loud, she died persuaded than everybody around her had turned their backs on her, first William then Max and finally Rachel. She left this world with regrets and bitterness.

What did she think when she crashed on the cold floor of that crappy bathroom?

Finally?

Fuck everyone?

Everybody lies, no exception?

Just thinking about it was making Max sick. She could understand that if the death of Chloe was unavoidable, if it was written somewhere into "the big book of life", she couldn't save her no matter what. She had tried so hard to save her, she had tried to ignore all the signs, she had wanted to think that there was a way to save everybody. But all along she knew. She had understood. But she couldn't accept that Chloe has to die like that. Especially not when such a power as rewinding time is given to Max at the exact moment her friend needs it.

Honestly, what was the purpose of all this shit? Getting a power but at the end not being able to use it? What a joke. It was so stupid, so incoherent. It was as if the universe was mocking her and laughing at her desperation. It was just to give her a glimpse of what their life could have been before crashing it into pieces. Giving her a superpower and forbidding her to use it. What an irony! Giving her a last week with Chloe whose she was the only one to remember. One week to remember a life that could have been.

No, Chloe definitely didn't deserve that. She deserved to know that she and Max were an awesome team, that together they solved the Rachel Amber's case, that nothing had changed between them despite the years of silence. She had the right to know who she really was, what she was capable of and that she had sacrificed herself to save Arcadia Bay. Shit, the world had the right to know that Chloe Price was an everyday hero, that she was the bravest person of this town and that she saved them all.

No, instead, she died all alone in an old bathroom. And when Max had crawled near her when Nathan honoured himself and had ran away like the coward he was, Chloe was already gone. Max hadn't been able to just look into her blue eyes for a last time. She had already left.

No goodbye.

Typical of Chloe. It was almost ironic. She had left Max exactly as Max had left her five years earlier. Without a word.

The sun had completely disappeared now and the darkness of the night was beginning to cover the entire cemetery. The fade light of the moon was playing at creating disturbing shadows around her. She didn't know what time it was, she probably stayed like that for hours. It was way past dinner time and people were back home, living their quiet life as if nothing happened.

But Max couldn't do that. She just wasn't able to, because the moment she would cross the gates of the cemetery would be the moment she would consider Chloe's death real, it would be admitting that her best friend was gone for ever. It would be the moment to say farewell. Worse than that, it would be killing her a second time. And that was way too much for her. So she would not move. Never.

She had promised her to never leave her again, hadn't she? If she had to live all her life sitting next to that coffin to respect her words, so be it.

She killed her after all. It was all her fault if it was Chloe's funeral today. That day, next to the lighthouse, she had the choice. Chloe pushed her in a certain direction but never forced her to do anything. She could have destroyed the town. And Max was sure that her best friend would not have hated her. On the contrary, she would have been by her side, would have forgiven her and together, they would have built a new life, somewhere far away from the ruins of Arcadia Bay. Maybe, with time, they could even have forgotten.

But instead, she had chosen to sacrifice Chloe, she had abandoned the one that could have become more than just a friend, that already had in a way. She killed her and even if Chloe had asked her to do so, Max would never forgive herself.

She crouched down and put her arms around her knees, sobbing madly.

"I'm so sorry Chloe… I'm sorry, I'm sorry… Chloe… Don't leave me"

After a while, tired of having cried so much, Max sank into an agitated sleep.

Images and songs crossed her mind, imaginary moments mixed with real memories, she was seeing shadows looking vaguely familiar, pictures from another time burning up, she was looking at herself rewinding time again and again, realities changing and mixing up, ghosts coming from the past, animals that were leading her to strange places, … And then, in a flash, a blue butterfly.

Everything froze in her mind, as if time suddenly stopped its course. It was just her and that butterfly which was flying around her. No scenery, everything was black. The only touch of colour was the blue coming from that butterfly, the one she took a picture of that fateful day.

She watched it for a moment, mesmerized by that ocean blue. And then, as if a voice ordered her to, she raised her hand. When her fingers touched the butterfly, the scenery abruptly changed. The sudden light blinded her and made her look away.

When she opened her eyes, she was at the cliff next to the lighthouse. That place was at the centre of everything, good moments and bad ones. The sun was setting behind the ocean and Arcadia Bay was shining under a beautiful orange light.

And Chloe was there, just in front of her. As if she never left. She was wearing her eternal black beanie and her punk clothes. She was grinning in a mocking way, amused by Max's sweet innocence. She had the same traits as Joyce when she was learning that her daughter had got herself in trouble again but couldn't force herself to punish her because she was too focused at not laughing with the punk of how stupid she could sometimes be. Like mother like daughter…

Max's first reaction was to take a step toward her best friend, she would have jumped into her arms if Chloe hadn't held up her hand, all amusement gone from her face.

"What are you doing Caulfield?"

It was Chloe, it was her voice, her intonation. Max smiled hesitantly.

"Chloe… Chloe.. I, it's you, it's really you" she whispered before taking another step ahead.

Her friend shook her head in a severe way.

"Don't you see I'm out of reach dumbass?"

Max frowned, she didn't understand what was her blue haired friend saying. Chloe rolled her eyes and looked at her foot. Max did the same and realized with surprise than Chloe was suspended in mid-air, and she was herself was just inches away from the end of the cliff.

The shock almost made her lose her balance and she had to take a step backward. Horrified, she looked up at Chloe who was smiling sadly.

"You can't come to me Max, you can't fall."

"What the… I don't understand anything, what's going on Chloe?" she asked

"I dunno, we're in your head after all. You tell me why I'm here."

"Why you're here?"

"You're a bit slow today, you ok?"

"You're here because I need you of course!" she said "I can't keep on going like this. I don't want to, not without you."

Chloe stared at her for a moment before lowering her gaze. She seemed morose, she looked like she knew something that she didn't want to say out loud because it would cause pain and sadness to others and she was searching for the right way to announce it so Max would eventually accept it.

"It's gonna be ok Max" she said while looking into her brown eyes "you're going to recover soon. You are young, you're talented, you have friends and a family who care about you. All you have to do is getting up. I always supported you, in every choice you made and I don't regret anything. Keep your head up and stop crying. Red and puffy eyes are not sexy you know."

Max shook her head in disbelief. Her throat went dry and she had to fight back the tears that were already filling her eyes. She tried to control the tremor of her voice when she spoke:

"I don't care about all this crap, I just want to be with you…" she moaned while taking a step toward the end of the cliff.

Chloe frowned and her face became more severe.

"If you fall you die genius. And please stop whining, it's so not you" she laughed.

"I can't stay here without you, I can't keep going as if nothing has changed!"

Max raised her hand to her friend but she was still out of reach. If only Chloe would raise her own hand they could touch each other. But Chloe didn't move, on the contrary her expression darkened.

"Is this another alternative universe? Another timeline? Tell me how to be with you, I'll do anything."

"No, it's your dream. I'm dead Max, and that would not have changed when you'll wake up. Do you realise you fell asleep on my coffin? That's so creepy, seriously you freak me out Max. I'm not even gone for a week and you become a gothic? Nerd style suits you better, believe me."

"I'll spend the rest of my life into that cemetery if it allows me to stay by your side. We've still got so many things to do."

Chloe loudly sighed of annoyance. Her best friend could be so stubborn sometimes.

"You're not listening are you?"

"I just…"

"Okay stop the bullshit" she cut her off "You're going to shut up and listen to me Maxine Caulfield."

Shocked by the use of her full name and by the threatening tone of Chloe, she just nodded.

"For two days now, you have been a complete mess. You stay all day long in your dorm, you don't talk to anybody anymore, you reject all your friends who are trying to help you and you don't even dare to look at my mom. And on top of this, you're spending the night into a cemetery crying all the water left in your body and now you're telling me bullshit about dying and everything. You know what you are at this exact moment? You're pathetic. Fuck Max, pull yourself together, Earth didn't stop turning when that asshole shot me."

Outraged, Max open her mouth to reply but no words came out of it. She shook her head, searching for words.

"I… I just can't, I'm lost. I don't know what to …"

Chloe clicked her tongue of irritation, stopping the photograph in midsentence.

"Stop the drama right away ok? You know I hate it."

Max frowned of disbelief. She was really hurt by Chloe's behaviour, she didn't understand why she was reacting this way. If even Chloe couldn't understand her then who could? Her best friend didn't know her, she had no idea of what she was going through and that made Max furious. She, above all people, was the one supposed to support her and yet, all she was doing was laughing at her and criticizing her. She was dead and she dared making fun of it.

"Chloe ! You…" she said while searching for the right words to express all of her frustration "You know nothing ! You have no fucking idea of what this week should have been for both of us. If only you could have spent these last days with me, if only you could have left with these memories. If only I could show you everything we did, I would trade anything just for you to know what the two of us are capable of when we're together… I just can't accept that you died alone. I can't stand the idea of you in that crappy bathroom with no one by your side, this is just not right Chloe. Everything would be simpler if that story wasn't so unfair" she whispered.

Chloe closed her eyes, a light smile floating on her lips.

"I know Max" she said in a gentle voice "I know all this, it maybe was in another reality but I lived all these moments with you. I don't remember it but you do and that's all that matters."

"But you died thinking I abandoned you!"

"But you didn't, you came back and here you are today. You were there at my funeral, you were there to explain to my mom how I died, to take her into your arms and support her. You're here Max, that's what really matters. The memories, the things we did during this week, everything is engraved in your heart. And I'm in your heart so I know. I know everything."

A tear fell on Max's cheek and Chloe raised her hand to tenderly wipe it off. It didn't quite feel like a normal physical touch. It was more like a smooth breeze, as if the wind was caressing her skin. And all the love contained in that gesture was warming Max's heart up. She wanted to put her own hand over Chloe's but that one didn't really exist. Only the sensation of her hand was real. Max felt melancholic, she was craving to touch Chloe just one more time.

"Please Max don't lock yourself up. Please come back, be the girl everyone likes, the girl who takes pictures all day long, the girl who is always keeping in touch with her friends, the girl who always texts stupid emoji" she laughed "The girl who brings hope to those who need it, the girl who inspires those who are lost in the storm, the girl who reaches out to those who are falling. Be the girl who took up my dare."

A light smile appeared on Max's lips when her friends mentioned that last memory. A comfortable silence floated in the air for a minute or so before Max opened her mouth.

"Do you think it could have worked? I mean, us… Do you think we could have been great together?" she whispered shyly.

The memory of their last farewell kissed crossed her mind.

Chloe's mouth curled into a grin and that so unique smirk was not a good sign! That mischievous look in her eyes was so typical of Chloe that Max couldn't help but laugh.

"My my, have you fallen for me Supermax? Damn, I probably should have dared you way much more than kissing me then… I missed my chance" she whispered seductively.

Max's face immediately reddened, she crossed her arms on her chest and pouted, even in dreams Chloe was unbelievable. But the smile she was trying to hide easily broke her defence.

"Perv" added Chloe visibly proud of herself.

"Chloe!" shouted Max, feeling her neck and face warming up.

Her blue haired friend burst of laughter in front of the photograph who was trying to look angry. When Chloe eventually pulled herself together, they looked at each other affectionately.

"You know, Rachel and I, we were so alike, as rebel and fierce. And it didn't work. She loved Frank. We were just friends, really close friends but nothing much. But you and I? Boy, we're hella differents! We're like fire and water. We are the complete opposite of each other."

"Is that a bad thing?"

Chloe's smile widened.

"You know what they say, opposites attract. Max, we would have made it working. Together we would have been unstoppable. No, we are unstoppable."

The young girl nodded weakly, a melancholic smile was floating on her face.

Chloe's grin abruptly disappeared and her face became serious and severe. She sharply looked at Max before sighing loudly.

"Max. I just want you to promise me one thing" she said gravely.

"Anything" she answered, worried by her friend's tone.

"Don't end up with that moron of Warren please. It would hurt me deeply. I would be vexed, like, for real."

She opened her mouth to reply but she just couldn't help but laugh out loud, as she rarely had done before. Chloe was Chloe after all. Nothing really changed.

"Nah I'm serious Maximus, I would not forgive you !"

"You're such a dork!" she said while her punk friend was grinning at her.

Max pouted while she was waiting for Chloe to stop laughing at her. They shared a complicit gaze before Chloe spoke again.

"Well, this was fun but it's time to say goodbye now. I won't come back, not in this form anyway. But I'll always be there as long as you'll think of me" she said smoothly.

"I don't want to say goodbye, I don't want to think this is the end…" she whispered.

"It's only getting started. Don't you dare forgetting me Max."

"Never."

"Then I'll never leave your side."

"Chloe…"

"Take care of my mom please. And take good care of yourself, don't end up making the same mistakes as I did" she added saddly.

Max shook her head.

"I promise."

Chloe lowered her gaze and smiled a last time to her best friend. She was about to turn away and disappear when she heard Max's voice.

"Thanks for being my partner in crime."

Chloe turned around, grinning.

"As long as you're my partner in time" they smiled widely at each other "close your eyes Max. When you'll open them I want you to stop looking at that hella ugly coffin and get up. I want you to go to Warren, Kate, whoever you want but I don't want you to be alone. Enjoy your life and bring me in your adventures. Like when we were playing pirates, remember?"

Max nodded slowly. She closed her eyes and two tears ran down her cheeks, shining like pearls.

She felt a smooth breeze, a light movement, like a veil that would float with the wind. And somehow, she knew that Chloe was just in front of her, she could feel her presence, her breath on her face, she could almost smell her scent. Chloe's face was moving nearer, but she didn't dare opening her eyes, too afraid that she may have disappeared. Soft lips wiped the tears away from her cheeks, as sweet as two caresses.

"Goodbye Max…" she whispered into her ears.

And then, Chloe kissed her. It was nothing like the two kisses they had shared before. The first one had been short and unexpected, the second one had been extreme and desperate. This one was tender, loving. As sweet as honey. That kiss was a confession, a promise. That kiss was synonym of hope. It was warming up Max's body and was reviving her heart, it was colouring the world back and it was soothing her tortured mind. A kiss to erase all of her regrets, to forgive her all her faults.

A kiss to say goodbye.

Max wanted to put her hand on Chloe's neck but she never reached it. Chloe had left, and here she was all alone. The presence of her best friend was gone. But the warmth into Max's body was still there as testimony of Chloe's love.

She took a deep breath, trying to be brave enough to open her eyes. When she did, she felt her body screaming in pain. The position in which she felt asleep had caused soreness. She winced when she tried to move her legs.

So all this had only been a dream after all. A product of her imagination. An illusion.

Did it mean it didn't happen?

She didn't know. But she loved thinking that Chloe was still with her, somehow, somewhere. She had been there to get her back on track, to help her overcome what would probably be the hardest challenge of her life. Chloe was her guardian angel, or most likely her guardian demon, let's be honest. She was with Rachel and together, they were probably wreaking havoc up there.

This thought was making Max smile. Yes, Chloe was there, she was watching her. She was whispering things and ideas to her, she was living into her heart and was sharing her life. Chloe was still there and would always be, Max was certain of it now.

Max couldn't go through life alone, that was for sure. Fortunately, she would never be.

And now, it was really time to go.

She slowly stood up and put her hand on the coffin. She looked at it for a moment. It was cold.

"You're right Chlo, that coffin is awful."

She turned around. Step by step, she was moving further away from Chloe. When she reached the gates of the cemetery she stopped. It was really time to say goodbye. To let her go.

The end of a time and the beginning a new one.

"Thank you Chloe. For everything. See you around…"

She held up her head and kept walking, without looking back.

She neither saw the deer coming out the wood nor the blue butterfly landing smoothly on Chloe's coffin.

* * *

Well, I hope it wasn't too difficult to understand the story and that you enjoyed it! Please feel free to leave a review to tell me where are the biggest mistakes and if I should keep writing in English!

See ya!

(And Pricefield for ever!)


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